DATING SOMEONE WITH DEPRESSION. TIPS FOR DATING & RED FLAGS
If you are dating someone with depression, suddenly you might find yourself alone in this relationship — a far lonelier place than actually being alone.
The person you love might be gone, and you have no idea who is this listless, melancholy person in front of you
While every person’s experience with depression is unique, here are a few things you can do to help your loved one and yourself. You are not alone.
BUT
10 % of the population of the USA, exhibits symptoms of depression. Of that 10 %, 50 % do not seek any type of treatment to alleviate those depressive symptoms.
Understanding depression can help you communicate with your partner
it might be time to be concerned about your relationship.
You can definitely be in a healthy relationship with someone in depression
1
EDUCATE YOURSELF
A great way to support your loved one is to learn everything you need to know about depression, including its causes, symptoms, and treatments. Ask your partner’s doctor for some reputable sources that provide the facts about depression, or do a quick search yourself on the Internet.
2
GET SUPPORT & TREATMENT
Treatment is vitally important to a person’s recovery from depression. You can help your loved one by helping them keep up with taking their medication and remembering appointments. You can also help them by reassuring them that asking for help is not a sign of weakness or something to be ashamed of.
3
BE THERE FOR THEM
More than anything else, those with depression just want you to care. Seeing you make an effort to understand them will mean the world to them. Hold them close or just listen while they share their feelings. Offer to help them with making appointments or doing some of the daily chores that they are struggling to keep up with.
4
DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
Depression can make people behave in ways that they normally wouldn’t when they are feeling well. They may become angry, irritable, or withdrawn. They may not be interested in going out or doing things with you like they used to. Your spouse or significant other may lose interest in sex.
DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
When your loved one starts arguments that may seem to be out of nowhere, or blown out of proportion, understand that these things are not personal, and they don’t mean that your partner no longer cares for or about you. These are symptoms of the illness that requires treatment.
5
DON’T LEAVE THEM ALONG
Be there for them. Assure them that it’s okay to not be okay, but that you will be there with them through it, to help them pull through. Don’t try to make them talk if they don’t want to. Don’t ask questions, because chances are they won’t want to answer them. Bring them food, put on a movie, and just be there.
6
OFFER HOPE
Offer them hope by reminding them of their reasons to keep living, whatever they may be. Perhaps it’s their children, a beloved pet who needs them, or their faith. These reasons, which will be unique to the individual, can help them hold on a bit longer until the pain subsides.
7
THEY’RE NOT LAZY!
Calling them lazy for not cleaning or completing tasks will only worsen their depression and feeling of self-worth. Instead, try encouraging them or even offering to help them with these tasks and complete them alongside them.
IS IT OK TO BREAK UP?
Deciding whether or not to end a relationship is a hard decision, and it can be even more difficult when worrying that your ex may sink into a deeper depression post-breakup.
Lots of people with mental health conditions are able to enjoy long-lasting, fulfilling, happy relationships. Just because someone is depressed, doesn’t mean you should write them off.
Mental illness alone is no excuse to break up with someone
Although, it might be time to be concerned about your relationship, when mental illness symptoms are getting in the way of your day-to-day life, or your safety is being compromised
You can definitely be in a healthy relationship with someone who has a mental illness but keep an eye out for when things get unhealthy. Some of the tell-tale signs that your relationship is unhealthy:
But keep an eye out for when things get unhealthy.... If any of the “red flags” come up, don’t ignore them. Violence or abuse of any capacity should not be tolerated, regardless of mental illness status. Your safety is important, and that comes first!
Violence (verbal, physical, or sexual)
1
Inability to control emotions
2
Disrespect
4
Lack of remorse or empathy
5
Narcissistic behaviors
6
If any of these red flags come up, don’t ignore them. Violence or abuse of any capacity should not be tolerated, regardless of mental illness status. Your safety is important, and that comes first.
In general, having a mental illness is not an excuse to treat someone poorly, with disrespect, or lack of empathy. People with mental illnesses are certainly able to treat others with respect and love, just as people without a mental illness may treat you poorly.
If you do decide to end your relationship, be conscious of how your words may affect your partner and be sensitive to the issues they are struggling with.
GET HELP HOW
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